Who's There
By Joseph DeRepentigny

 
 
A Eury is a tall thin being from the planet of the same name. Almost three meters

tall (about nine feet) and thin as rails, they look like elongated versions of humans. There the similarities end. Unlike humans, they are a calm and straightforward people with no sense of humor. Additionally, most Euries like to tinker with whatever gadget catches their eyes. Whether it is a simple wind-up toy or a fusion reactor, they will sit with it, take it apart, and rebuild it until they understand it fully. It is for this reason they make some of the best spaceship mechanics in the known galaxy. 

Therefore, when Xavier Johnson's spaceship needed repairs, he and his partner went to Eury for repairs.

 "Have you ever been to Eury?" his partner asked with a grin. Yuri, his partner, was a Hoken, a race of spacefarers who came from the far side of the Magellan Cloud. Humanoids with four arms and a rusty red skin tone, they excelled in space navigation. Dressed in a Hawaiian shirt and shorts he looked more like a beachcomber than a space navigator. 

 Xavier Johnson frowned at the question because he knew where it led. A typical human, he was average height and a little paunchy in the middle. Unlike his friend, Xavier was wearing a space pilot's uniform. The two of them had worked together for a long time, and though they often argued, they were the best of friends. 

Yuri smiled broader and asked again. 

Sighing, Xavier shook his head and said the phrase his red friend was waiting for. "No, Yuri, I've never been to Eury." 

Yuri broke out in a roar of laughter. "You've never been to me?" 

Xavier shook his head and concentrated on the controls before him. He hated puns and word play.

"When you get over yourself we'll land the ship and make repairs," he shouted over his shoulder.

"Where are we landing?"

"In Eury Center," Xavier said, and then he wished he hadn't.

"Oh no, please don't land on the middle of me!" Yuri said in a mock plea.

Xavier groaned. 

Ten minutes later, they landed and got off the ship. Eury Center, the capital, was a simple city with one and two storied Adobe houses and paved streets. The low shrubs and trees that lined the sidewalks gave the place a small town look. In the distance, a dozen Euries walked toward them wearing long coveralls like a parade of tall thin mechanics.

"Eury welcomes you!" the one in the front said. "I am Catha."

Xavier spun around and gave Yuri an evil look.

Yuri for his part smiled and only said, "Yuri welcomes you!"

"I am confused," Catha said.

"It is a pun. His name is Yuri spelled Y-U-R-I. It sounds just like your planet and people's name, spelled E-U-R-Y."

Catha and the other Euries looked at Yuri intently and mumbled to themselves. Then as if he was coming out of a trance, Catha spoke up. "So what brings you to our humble planet?"

"The ship is acting oddly when I go to faster than light speed," Xavier answered. "It feels like it is shaking for a few seconds."

Catha nodded and said, "It sounds like the trans drive is losing sync. A minor problem, we can fix it in a day." He nodded and several of the Euries stepped forward ready to start working.

Xavier smiled and said. "Great, what is the charge for the work?"

Catha looked at his fellow Euries, mumbled in their own language, and nodded. Turning back to Xavier, he said. "In payment explain this pun thing to us."

"I'll leave that to my Hoken friend," Xavier said with a grin. "Maybe you guys will cure him of his wisecracking ways."

Yuri jumped down from the ship's ramp and smiled at the tall thin aliens. "Okay, first we'll do knock-knock jokes."

A dozen Euries gathered around the multi-armed red alien listening intently to him speak.

"Knock-knock," he said with a grin. The audience looked at him with concern.

"You're supposed to say, 'Who's there?'"

They nodded.

"Knock-knock," Yuri began again.

"Who's there?" they answered in unison.

"Boo," Yuri said with a sly grin.

"Boo who?" one of them asked.

"Why are you crying?" Yuri replied quickly.

Confused, the Eury said, "I was not crying."

Turning away, Xavier smiled at the sound of Yuri explaining the concept of the simple joke to the natives. The idea of staying and listening to his friend struggle to define humor to a humorless people was enticing, but he had a ship to fix and didn't like the idea of strangers poking around in his ship unwatched.

The next day they launched back into space. Xavier was sitting in the pilot's seat with a scowl on his face. "You had to teach them every knock-knock joke you know?"

"What was I supposed to do?"

"Explain puns and leave it at that!" Xavier roared. "Now the best place in the galaxy to get your space ship repaired is filled with a million tall thin beings telling the same knock-knock jokes over and over again!"

Yuri crouched down in his seat. His skin turned a brighter shade of red.

"What else did you do?" Xavier asked suspiciously.

"I gave them the book 'One Million Elephant Jokes'."  

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About the Author:
Originally from Massachusetts, Mr. DeRepentigny now lives in the Atlanta area. A former DeVry student and computer professional, he presently works as a Government Employee with over 15 years of service. A member of the Georgia Writer's Association, to date he has published 44 short stories in a variety of venues both online and in print. (Presently Unagented)